Dear Canada,

My journey to publication of my first book was a journey that took over forty years...probably not an unusual statement for a memoir. However, believe me, I tried to write my story many, many times before it finally flowed effortlessly into the final form which will be published in February. I can see now that the story wasn't ready to be told until just this moment in time, because my motivation had to align with the purpose of the book in order for it to enter reality.

You may be wondering, "what is she talking about?" Well, Borderline Shine is a memoir of complex trauma AND recovery, and it wasn't until I was in recovery that my full story was ready for the world. Earlier in my life, when I struggled with pain and suffering, I wanted to tell my story to receive validation and absolution for some of my actions. I let go of that external need when I let go of shame and began to understand that when choices are born of suffering, a person doesn't need absolution, they need compassion.

Shortly after learning that lesson, I completed the self-directed creativity course, "The Artist's Way". Then I went to the lake, set up a camping chair in front of my mountain, pulled out a notebook, and began to write. I wrote for four months, usually in that same isolated, remote spot. I filled page after page, book after book without pause or second thought. The fitful starts at writing that had occurred in my twenties and thirties transformed into effortless flow when I was forty-eight years old. When I was done, I sat with my laptop and transcribed what had poured forth, and then I started to edit. Twice I waded through the manuscript until I impulsively decided to submit the draft to four Canadian publishers, a mere eight months after I first sat with my notebook at the lake.

I received a response from Dundurn Press twenty-four hours after I electronically submitted my cover letter and first three chapters, and the whirlwind of publication began. The publication process has also been relatively easy, with the support of the wonderful team at Dundurn. My publication date is inexorably approaching, and I find myself returning again and again to the place of trust and faith that I discovered during the writing. I believe that the next phase of my journey will be easier if I am mindful of aligning my motivation and purpose: that this book will help others find understanding, compassion and hope.

And so, Dear Canada, what happens next is up to you. I am open to the flow.

Connie Greshner